It's been just over a week since my father's funeral and I'm numb and in a fog after being up, up, up for so long. I lapse into these moments where I see or remember some moment I spent with Daddy and either burst into tears (very unlike me) or stare into space for an hour lost in thought.
Going to work for short shifts helps since I get to focus on something and my co-workers give me tea, cookies, and strategically distributed hugs. OMG, Madeleines are just what you need for sinful, buttery comfort.
I don't think those random things are psychosis--rather synchrony. Things happened (and still do) after my grandparents died. On the morning of the funeral, I suddenly remembered my Dad had given me a bracelet when I was little. I'd already found and put on a pair of earrings he'd bought me when I had this really short haircut in my tomboy days and he told me "please wear these so they know you're a girl."
My hands went right to the bracelet buried in my jewelry box. The engraving on the back was June 18, 1971. Forty years to the day before he died. He wanted me to wear it, and it still fits. Synchrony. Some comfort.
Enough, back to work. Thanks for all your kind words of support. I'm looking forward to covering labor and delivery at LIJ this weekend. It's been a long time since I caught a baby.
For more about what I've been up to, writing wise, including another successful pitch for Someday I'm Going to Write a Book, check out my creative writing blog. There is lots of other good news there as well.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts. Catching babies sounds like a good way to get back into life. I hope you have an uplifting weekend.
ReplyDeleteI almost caught a baby, but the lady's doctor got there on time. It was still nice to be back in the saddle, so to speak. But damn, two back to back twelve hour shifts are really tough. I am exhausted and everything hurts.
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